WooF (Comments by J-POP Manga)
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Contest sponsor J-POP Manga gave detailed advice on WooF, an entry in the International Comic/Manga School Contest 2020.
View entry
WooF
Pen name: Giorgia Rosati
School name: Roman School of Comics
Country/Region: Italy
Language: English
Overall feedback
Pages 4-5
1. The transition here is not clear and would benefit from an additional panel to make reading comprehension and storytelling more fluid. Try asking yourself this question: Is it the dog, or is it the kid imagining this bedroom adventure? Does the kid have a fever? It would be a perfect motive for the story, a fever-induced dream where his trusty companion saves him from the monsters under the bed. It could be his eye in the last panel, opening up to discover he is inside the medicine bottle.
2. Whether it's the kid or the dog that is narrating, you might want to consider a different focus on this sequence to enhance the surprise effect of the kid now in the bottle. You would want to delay the setting shot, which in its current form immediately gives it away. Try starting with a detail like 2E at the top, zooming out to reveal the situation.
Page 6
3. Again, you want to decompress this sequence allowing for some momentum to build. Rather than showing the monster immediately, create some suspense with the monster slowly forming, the dog realizing something is very wrong, a close-up (like in 1D) of the dog's determination, and the dog jumping towards the unknown. Flip the page to reveal a splash page of the dog attacking the fully formed monster.
Page 9
4. The dog in 1E is still not certain if the kid is alright but is lolling his tongue, while he does seem concerned in 1F, invert the two or fix the dog's expression.
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