Contest sponsor Solmare Publishing gave detailed advice on BeastRescue, an entry in the International Comic/Manga School Contest 2020.
Pen name: 犬童子 (inudouzi)
School name: Human Academy
(1) The speech bubble placement across this page spread is a bit hard to understand. If the progression is 1–7, moving 2 as shown in red would guide the reader from the top left. By moving 4 to 4’, the reader will see 4 before 5–7, so the speech bubbles are read in the correct order.
(2) A grimace like they’ve been shot with a bullet might work better.
(3) The position of the box should follow the eye of the reader that goes left to right.
(4) The order of these lines is confusing. Placing them from left to right in order would work better.
(5) It might be better to move this bubble to the top left and make them face the beast next to the sofa. (If they aren’t by the sofa, the current placement is okay.)
(6) This could be more effective by limiting the beast to the second frame, zooming in, and matching the expression to the woman's dialog.
(7) This panel would be better if it showed the character looking toward the source of the voice.
International Comic/Manga School Contest 2020 Winners