GROW UP (promise not to) (Comments by J-POP Manga)

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Contest sponsor J-POP Manga gave detailed advice on GROW UP (promise not to), an entry in the International Comic/Manga School Contest 2020.


View entry

https://share.clip-studio.com/q/contents/view?code=99443d4e-4716-4f47-9c51-166e11d0f138&at=1594858809

GROW UP (promise not to)

Pen name: Alina Slyshik

School name: Saint-Petersburg State University of Industrial Technologies and Design

Country/Region: Russian Federation

Language: English


Overall feedback

Pages 3-4

1. 1B-1C-1D, let's show this rather than tell it. Make this one single panel where everything is huge but in a wonderful, wonderous way, not menacing. Move 1A further down and have a three small panel sequence where everything feels very cramped. Move 1G (rent bill) to 2.


2. Start with 1G remove 2D to the following page. Let the reader sink into the heaviness of it all. The pink game console behind the door is more than enough to give context without the need to show her playing the game.



Page 8

3. Character in 1A seems a bit sleepy, consider fixing expression and eyes.



Cover, Page 11

4. This is purely a suggestion but, consider making the color scheme blue on the cover and using the "warm pink one" on this final table. Perhaps have her dressed as she is as a kid to signify she's grown up but has kept her promise to be true to herself.



J-POP Manga

https://www.j-pop.it/


International Comic/Manga School Contest 2020 Winners

https://www.clipstudio.net/promotion/comiccontest/en/


https://comiccontest.clip-studio.com/2020/en-us

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