Our Grand Station (Reviewer: KADOKAWA)

34,757 views
ClipStudioOfficial

ClipStudioOfficial


Contest sponsor KADOKAWA gave detailed advice on Our Grand Station, an entry for the International Comic/Manga School Contest 2020.


View entry

Our Grand Station

Pen name: Caoqian

School name: The School of the Art Institute of Chicago

Country/Region: United States of America

Language: English


Overall feedback

Page 1

(1) The carefully drawn frontispiece illustration with animals in a packed station is wonderful! It pulls you right into the story.



Page 3

(2) We recommend establishing “who” is doing “what,” and “where” the story takes place in the first panel. In this case, you could convey the setting better by pulling the camera back and showing the entire station. (Showing the spatial relationship between the Grand Tree and the station, etc.)



Page 4

(3) We could tell it would taste bad but couldn’t understand what is was...



Page 16

(4) Why doesn't Catto want change? This question is unanswered.

a. Is it fear of change?

b. Are the tickets too expensive?

If it’s b, how did Nightingale collect the money? It was a bit hard to understand.



KADOKAWA


International Comic/Manga School Contest 2020 Winners


Comment

New

New Official Articles