光与暗之间的。 (Critique: LINE WEBTOON)
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LINE WEBTOON, sponsor of the International Comic/School Contest 2023, gave their critique for the entry," 光与暗之间的。".
View entry
Between Light and Darkness. / 光与暗之间的。
Artist: Jī Mù Guǐ / 積木鬼
School: China Academy of Art
Country/Region: China
Language: Simplified Chinese
CRITIQUES
"Light and Darkness" is a delicate piece where the creator in the story is searching for inspiration. Therefore this scene where the protagonist has the camera and finds their inspiration is an extremely key scene. If this scene was drawn more carefully showing the character, it would draw you in more.
1. Below is the scene where the protagonist finds their inspiration. This is a scene where the character is backlit and we can't see her face but if you used these three scenes to slowly zoom in and then focused on the light and shadows then it would look more like an inspirational moment.
2. This story is about art, so it would make sense to include it in detail. For example, you could draw in the reflected character with more detail in the camera and eyes and even include the background in a loose way. It would add a lot to the scene!
3. An important scene is when the character finds inspiration in a panoramic scene. The rhythm of the story pacing is very good and brings out the emotion for when they meet. However if you draw with a bit more detail, you can bring out the expression of the girl's face and the subtle changes in the light and shadows. If you added more blank background to fill in the panoramic shot it would get even better. Also, if you added more of the girl's changing expression in the scene where she is standing by the window when she agrees to model for her it would enhance the scene.
4. The ending of the story features a scene of the protagonist's finished painting, where we get to see it close up. However, the image doesn't seem to have changed that much from when we see her enter the story in the beginning. It also is very rough so it makes the ending fall flat.
Overall it was a manga that created a great atmosphere. The communication between the two girls was also alluring. I think this story can get even better by adjusting the details!
LINE WEBTOON
International Comic/Manga School Contest 2023 Winners
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