The Circle of Life: memento mori (Critique: SHUEISHA)
SHUEISHA, sponsor of the International Comic/School Contest 2023, gave their critique for the entry, "The Circle of Life: memento mori".
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The Circle of Life: memento mori
Artist: BlueBird0202
School: Virtual University of Pakistan
Country/Region: Pakistan
Language: English
CRITIQUES
☆ I'm sorry, there was no particular page, panel, or part where I had a comment.
I think the quality is close to perfect as a work of art.
The use of color on each page, the design of the characters was very good, and the direction, description, and drawing ability to fully depict the facial expressions of the characters was all great.
I think this was a very high level entry.
If I had to say something, a little more care could be taken in guiding the reader's gaze from panel to panel and from line to line.
There are signs of this effort here and there, such as the use of a continuous line of speech bubbles for each line (②) and a line at the beginning of the page to guide the reader. Also, the amount of information on each page may be a little lacking because of the priority given to the composition of each page.
The reader's eye could be guided through a plethora of information, creating a natural and pleasurable reading experience all within a page.
This is what I like about Japanese-style manga spreads.
I think you have a lot of skill, but by incorporating more of the Japanese manga approach, you may open up new creative horizons.
☆ Finally, I like the content of your work very much, but from the way you set up the ending it is a bit distant from entertainment.
I look forward to future work where you put a bit more into it to make it lean towards entertainment!
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