Inside the Shadow (Critique: Ki-oon)
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Ki-oon, sponsor of the International Comic/School Contest 2023, gave their critique for the entry, "Inside the Shadow".
View entry
Inside the Shadow
Artist: VIIIN
School: School of Visual Arts
Country/Region: China
Language: English
CRITIQUES
It would be better to insert a “cover page” or a “transition illustration” between p. 3 (prologue) and p. 4 (back in the past).
Before getting to the mission on p. 4, I feel it’s necessary to introduce the hero and show why he became a dragon slayer and what his personal goals and motivations are in life, as well as his situation at the beginning of the story. For instance, he could have a personal experience with dragons in the past that forged his hatred against them. The reader also needs to know if he is good at his job or not, to understand if he has any chance to succeed.
This introduction is very important to make the reader “feel” the main character and get on his side, whether he is good or bad. It would help to care about what happens to him.
It would be nice to have a name for the hero and the dragon to make the story more personal.
Ki-oon
International Comic/Manga School Contest 2023 Winners
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