餘暉 (Critique: SILENT MANGA AUDITION®)
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SILENT MANGA AUDITION®, sponsor of the International Comic/School Contest 2023, gave their critique for the entry, "餘暉".
View entry
Twilight / 餘暉
Artist: parama
School: Taipei National University of the Arts
Country/Region: Taiwan
Language: Traditional Chinese
CRITIQUES
General feedback from the SMA Editorial Department:
“We found the entry very interesting! The beginning was attention-catching and the introduction of the world and the characters on the first pages were easy to follow and understand. We’ve especially liked the idea of electricity lighting up the long-destroyed city for a slight moment until it disappeared again.
We wish we could learn more about the characters! Where do soul eaters come from? Are they friendly only to people who die soon? Why are they so willing to grant one last wish? Is it because souls taste better?
We were also intrigued by the human character…how come she can repair the electricity? Was she taught by someone in the past? The characters are definitely interesting enough to be seen again in a different story and we hope you can think of a setting where soul eaters have a more define goal and motives. For example, what if there was a human that just refused to die and kept coming up with ‘last wishes’? Or what if soul eaters themselves wondered how it is to live as a human being…
Your drawing skills are already great and with studying manga grammar a little more, we’re sure you can bring out your characters to life in a way the readers will want to see the characters again! We wish you all the best on your manga journey! "
SMA Editorial Department:
“The way you introduced a new character was very good! However, because they both have bright hair color it might be a bit difficult for the readers to distinguish between the characters, so for example, you could have one character with darker or shorter hair!”
SMA Editorial Department:
P13 -
“Seeing the city lighting up for the first time is a very exciting moment of this manga. You could even draw it on a double spread page, and show the soul eaters’ surprise even larger. We thought that this was very important moment in the story so if you rearranged the space a little and show the reaction BIG the awe they felt could be easily conveyed to the readers as well!”
SILENT MANGA AUDITION®
International Comic/Manga School Contest 2023 Winners
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