ダークサイド・スクープ (Critique: Mangatari)
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Mangatari, sponsor of the International Comic/School Contest 2023, gave their critique for the entry, "ダークサイド・スクープ".
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Darkside Scoop / ダークサイド・スクープ
Artist: Matsuda / 待つ田
School: Nagasaki prefectural hasami high school
Country/Region: Japan
Language: Japanese
CRITIQUES
① This is a very surreal and interesting scene where the character in question suddenly changes.
However, from the reader's perspective, it might seem a little abrupt.
It would be good if you could do some detective-like action sequences and guesses before this.
② There could be just a little more of a pause here.
Because this is a great scene where the reader's expectations get overthrown.
It could be that the reader is angry or misled by the revelation of wrongdoings and they could worry that now they will be attacked.
If you add in a pause with this uncertainty then the opposite reaction of love hits the reader harder.
③ This is also very fast-paced. Maybe you could add in a siren sound to let the readers know what is happening.
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