Tokyo Name Tank provided its detailled critique on "Perception", one of the entries to the International Comic/Manga School Contest 2021.
Pen name: Kurogami
School: Esa Games
1. In this scene, the situation is well explained...
2. Here you could make the character appear a bit larger to make the mother's condition clearer to the reader.
3. You can convey emotions more easily by gradually increasing the size of the character.
4. It might be easier to convey the mother's emotions by making the mother appear larger with a close-up shot.
5. This expression is wonderful! It's a great scene!!
6. Since the point of view shifts to the father's, you might want to add a white outline to make him stand out!
7. Draw the father character a little larger to better convey his emotions!
8. You could darken the scene with a screentone to direct the eye towards Yihann!
9. Great scene!
10. For an even better view of the drawing's composition, the father's hand should be shifted downward slightly!
11. You should add details or screentones to improve readability.
12. Zoom in a little more so we can better understand that she is taking off her hair accessory!
13. Because this is an important scene that leads into the next one, make the frame bigger!
14. To guide the viewer's eye more effectively, adjust the position of the character's face and the speech bubble!
15. You should draw the man's face from the front view to better convey the feeling of accepting reality.
16. You can make the situation look more dramatic by changing the size of frames 3 and 4!
17. You convey the situation better by thickening the outline of the characters or drawing them a little larger.
18. If you place the characters diagonally, you can guide the eye more effectively!
19. This is an important scene that directly relates to the theme, so let's draw it bigger!
20. It may be a good idea to lay out this scene diagonally to guide the viewer's eye.
21. Zoom in on the character to enhance the contrast of the scene.
22. You may want to make the eye look bigger.
23. It would be better to make the characters a bit larger.
24. Since this is a good scene, thicken the outline of the character to show it more effectively!
Tokyo Name Tank
International Comic/Manga School Contest 2021 Winners