Amutus provided its detailled critique on "idrm", one of the entries to the International Comic/Manga School Contest 2021.
Pen name: mid
School: RMIT University
① The composition is such that no facial expressions of the main characters are shown for a long time, making them look like background characters. You should have shown the expressions of one or the other.
② Not showing any facial expressions seems like part of the design, but we think it would have been nice to draw her with a goofy, embarrassed smile to contrast with the facial expression of the scene in the second half where the heroine comes to her aid.
③ It's a great idea to try drawing the scene from far away, but it would be better to show the character surrounded by her classmates having fun. It would create a contrast with the heroine.
④ To facilitate understanding and make it clear whether it is a flashback or from a current situation, the following tips can be used:
・ Changing the border thickness
・ Using screentones
⑤ Facial expressions should be clearly shown in important scenes.
In this scene, we want to show the heroine, so either use a single-frame composition on the heroine, or a two-frame composition where she is in the background facing forward with the two other people in the foreground for the first frame, and a large close-up of her face for the second.
⑥ The camera movement is a bit too sudden here with a change of view from the back of the person to the profile of their face.
International Comic/Manga School Contest 2021 Winners