HOPE (Critique: Ki-oon)



Ki-oon, sponsor of the International Comic/School Contest 2022, gave their critique for the entry "HOPE."

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Pen name: GooDMaNヤマダ


Country/Region: Japan

Language: English

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Page 3

Having a panel with the alien would help set the tone and hint at the confrontation.

Pages 4 & 5

1) If you're going open your story with a flashback, it would help to have an opening page or a black frame to divide it from the rest of the story.

2) It's hard to tell how old the protagonist is. I think a close-up shot here would be more appropriate!

3) You need to put one or two transitions in here to signal that it's the same person at a different stage of their life.

4) It is not clear what is going on. A change of angle or a close-up here would help us see both characters.

Pages 6 & 7

1) It's better to take up this whole space to show how charming the girl is from the hero's point of view. You could even put a small panel at the bottom right for a reaction shot from him.

2) It's a little hard to understand what this bubble means. Perhaps a different indicator to the reader would be best here?


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