HOPE (Critique: Ki-oon)
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Ki-oon, sponsor of the International Comic/School Contest 2022, gave their critique for the entry "HOPE."
View entry
HOPE
Pen name: GooDMaNヤマダ
School: TOKYO COMMUNICATION ARTS
Country/Region: Japan
Language: English
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Page 3
Having a panel with the alien would help set the tone and hint at the confrontation.
Pages 4 & 5
1) If you're going open your story with a flashback, it would help to have an opening page or a black frame to divide it from the rest of the story.
2) It's hard to tell how old the protagonist is. I think a close-up shot here would be more appropriate!
3) You need to put one or two transitions in here to signal that it's the same person at a different stage of their life.
4) It is not clear what is going on. A change of angle or a close-up here would help us see both characters.
Pages 6 & 7
1) It's better to take up this whole space to show how charming the girl is from the hero's point of view. You could even put a small panel at the bottom right for a reaction shot from him.
2) It's a little hard to understand what this bubble means. Perhaps a different indicator to the reader would be best here?
Ki-oon
International Comic/Manga School Contest 2022 Winners
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