Waltzing in Heaven (Critique: SILENT MANGA AUDITION®)

6,733

ClipStudioOfficial

ClipStudioOfficial

 

SILENT MANGA AUDITION, sponsor of the International Comic/School Contest 2022, gave their critique for the entry, "Waltzing in Heaven."

 

View entry

Waltzing in Heaven

Pen name: Emily Xu

School: Charterhouse

Country/Region: China

Language: English

 

View Critiques

We loved the general idea of the story! The meaning of the story was conveyed, but we believe that there are some parts that could be even better, specifically about the paneling.

 

In general, there were many panels on the pages and the panels are mostly the same size. In addition, the camerawork doesn't have much variety. We’ll go into more details in the document and we hope that our comments will help you with your manga creation in the future!

 

-The SMA Editorial Dept.

 

 

 

Pages 1

When your characters are first shown in your manga, it’s important to draw them BIG so that the reader can get an impression of what kind of character they are!

 

 

 

Pages 3

Make sure to use different sized panels and close ups/far shots. For example, here you could have a close up of the protagonist finding the hole and his expression since it’s important for the reader to know this part of the story.

 

 

 

Pages 5

①The protagonist’s love interest should be drawn BIG! What kind of character is she? The change of emotion when the protagonist sees her should also be drawn clearly to make his feelings/emotions clear to the readers. This way the reader can know what they’re thinking and can emphasize more with them.

 

②Since the panels are mostly the same size with the same camera angle, we actually missed the detail of the protagonist checking his watch! We thought that it was the first time for him to meet the angel.

 

 

 

Pages 7

The top left panel is a great scene, it should be BIGGER!

 

 

 

Pages 12-13

①Be careful of unnecessary panels in your manga. For example, on this page the first few panels are mostly telling the reader the same information. Too many panels on a page may make it more difficult to read and tire out the reader.

 

②Here we thought it was a bit strange for dialogues to appear only here in the manga.

 

 

Pages 15

It’s good that what you wanted to tell the reader was displayed large on the page, but it may have been better to actually see the protagonist carry out these acts of kindness and see him struggle! Especially if he’s naturally bad natured it could be a good chance to see his growth.

 

 

 

Pages 19

On these two pages there’s a lot of information about the story. Generally speaking, it’s good to limit one scene per page!

 

 

 

Pages 21

We LOVED the ending! Nicely done!

 

 

SILENT MANGA AUDITION®

 

International Comic/Manga School Contest 2022 Winners

 

Comment

New

New Official Articles