빛이 될 나를 향해 (Critique: SORAJIMA Inc.)
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SORAJIMA Inc., sponsor of the International Comic/School Contest 2023, gave their critique for the entry, "Toward the light that will be / 빛이 될 나를 향해 ".
View entry
Toward the light that will be / 빛이 될 나를 향해
Artist: Dynamic / 다이나믹
School: Korea Animation High School
Country/Region: South Korea
Language: Korean
CRITIQUES
Because of the spotlight, the darkness felt by the protagonist, which the artist wants to show, is diminished and the composition is also similar to many other panels. You could try to up the drama by doing a shot from above the character with her surrounded by darkness (with only her feet lit up by the spotlight).
In the previous panel the protagonist's friend's hand was on the left side, so make sure you are keeping in mind the spatial relationships of the scene to avoid confusion.
If you added in more cloudiness or texture it would outline the gravity of this line and the harshness of living an anonymous life.
Because you aren't setting up a good continuity of spatial relationships, it might be difficult for the reader to discern where the character is.
You are showing the cheering crowd by using a stable horizontal composition, so there is less of an impact. You can make this more dynamic with a low-angle shot.
The protagonist is now wanting to express herself to the audience, and this is right before that climax. Instead of looking bothered she should look like she is about to say something exciting to the fans or have a look of revelation. It might look more natural if you show her progression of emotions.
SORAJIMA Inc.
International Comic/Manga School Contest 2023 Winners
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