SHOGAKUKAN, sponsor of the International Comic/School Contest 2023, gave their critique for the entry, " クローバー ".
Clover / クローバー
Artist: Takahashi. /たかはし。
School: J.F.Oberlin University
① You should limit the use of panels within panels to parts that you really want to highlight.
Overall it is easier to read a comic when there is space between the panels and the panels are divided vertically and horizontally.
② It would be easier to read if you split it here.
③ If you made the speech bubbles one size bigger throughout, it would become an easy-to-read manga!
④ Try pulling back the camera a bit to show the situation more clearly.
This was a unique way of using the panels to show emotion. Very good!
You should limit the use of slanted paneling to only when you want to show some speedy action. If you divide the panels with a normal horizontal line it would show the progression of emotion better.
The background and props are carefully drawn here, it's very nice!
To avoid losing the character in the background, you need thicker lines for the character and the surroundings to be lighter. If you do that, then the character will stand out even when the background is drawn in detail like this.
① This is a good use of spacing!
② You used the white space well!
Starting here until the end, I wanted more shots that were pulled back. It would make the situation clearer and highlight the atmosphere of the story more.
You did a good job showing her emotions in this cut!
This is a great expression!