My Own Path (Critique: Tapas Media)

1,729
ClipStudioOfficial

ClipStudioOfficial


Tapas Media, sponsor of the International Comic/School Contest 2022, gave their critique for the entry, "My Own Path."


View entry

My Own Path

Pen name: Red

School: Universitas Kristen Petra

Country/Region: Indonesia

Language: English


View Critiques


1.The BG color is similar to the gradient, so I recommend using a different, brighter/happy color, like the highlights in her hair.


2.Alternatively, to parallel a later scene in the cormic you can set this scene at night and illuminate her face with the glow from the TV (though kids should not sit close to the TV in the dark haha)


3.Avoid creating tangents w/the cabinet and her hair



1.Orange is a good energetic color. Try a brighter orange to match her bright expression!


2.You don't need to write down the items because they're drawn so well already! Try adding glow around items instead.



1.This was a very smooth transition!


2.Excellent use of color to show the change in tone!



You don't need to use sfx in this silent comic – instead, use more motion lines!



It's clear what the father thinks from the symbols used previously!
I recommend removing the dialogues to keep the comic consistently silent and focus more on the colors. and subtle changes in expression of the characters.



The symbol is clear (though the notification symbol can be more prominent by making it red), so you don't need to add words!



Use a warm and bright color to reflect the warm moment!



To connect the ending to the message of the story, I would suggest ending with a panel with the artist continuing her studies (and her path) with the trophy next to her on the desk:)


Tapas Media


International Comic/Manga School Contest 2022 Winners


Comment

New

New Official Articles